Take Two

We’ve had a rough week of exams. One proctor listed all the misdeeds of a class down the hall on her roster, and our whole trailer park has been cracking up over it for the past few days. The entire roster is scrawled over with a record of curse words, disrespect, and weird test violations. The four funniest, against a backdrop of more egregious violations:

--Student fell out of seat intentionally

--Student pulled out and ate Bojangles in the middle of the exam

--Student threw Bojangles biscuit in the middle of exam

--Whole class started singing “Hammer Time” in the middle of the exam

My students were marginally better-behaved; tomorrow I test the ten out of 100+ who were either absent, suspended, or sent out for bad behavior during their proper testing slots. I’m nervous about getting their grades back from the state. A science teacher received hers back and had 2 passes out of a class of 23 students, and 3 passes out of 25. Right on average for our school, apparently.

Check yourself, Shakespeare

Now I’m prepping for Thursday, when the new semester starts and 100 brand new students walk through the door. This semester I’m reorganizing. I’ve completely reset the way I want my classroom to run, and am painstakingly shaking up my lesson plans so that they’re more focused, engaging, and rigorous. Mostly I’m completely rewriting the whole plan. But when I find something that worked last semester, I tweak it and leave it in. Reviewing stuff over and over has led to some weird changes in my curriculum, especially my Julius Caesar skits. Let’s see how good your pop culture trivia is.

Caesar: I’m sorry that people are jealous of me. I can’t help it that I’m popular.

(At breakfast) 

Calpurnia: Caesar, please don’t go out today! It’s the ides of March! Eat some toast, instead.

Caesar: Is butter a carb?   

Brutus: I’ll do it. I’ll help protect Rome from Caesar!

Cassius: Good. You’re part of our group, now.

Casca: On Wednesdays, we wear pink.

This is my school, every day. Why aren't we in a movie?

Caesar: Yonder Cassius has a lean and hungry look. Brutus: That’s why his hair is so big. It’s full of secrets.

Antony: Friends, Romans, and Countrymen, lend me your ears.

Citizen: He doesn’t even go here!

Octavius: I just killed four of the enemy!

Antony: Four for you, Octavius! You go, Octavius!

Do I spend too much time with 14 year-olds? Probably.

And here’s to a marginally more entertaining semester than last!

The message I should probably be sharing